I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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