Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
