Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Boobs speak an international language.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If I die, sorry about rent.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
