its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
