hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize