pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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