yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
