it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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