Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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