is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
