the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
