Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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