I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
