I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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