i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
