hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
