I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
