Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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