do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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