sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
