I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
