yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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