I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
