stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize