come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize