I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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