What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
