goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
