it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
