I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I need help removing her.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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