Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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