dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
