Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
