well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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