I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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