Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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