I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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