there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
