break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
