You smell like stripper and shame
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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