I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
