Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
dude. I can hear the air.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
