I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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