Jerry, you need to find god
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
