I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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