Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
