i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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