gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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