So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
