I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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