I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
