whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
