she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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