I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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