I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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