what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
