All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize