told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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