you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
