The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
