end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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