I showed him my bush... on skype.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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