You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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