remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
