we made out on top of his cat.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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