i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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