And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
