i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Randomize
