i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
