Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
