Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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