he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
if only i could text you this smell
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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