I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
