Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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