Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize