We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
