the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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