I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
