the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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